ONE (They shall be one flesh)

 

A true marriage bonds a couple and hence they will have a connection emotionally, socially and economically and in the flesh including spiritually. Without an emotional and social connection the couple shall make love in bed out of obligation instead of out of love and emotional influence. If a couple does not connect emotionally to each other they might be cramp (restrict, limit or constrict) each other in bed and in the home.

There is power in unity and agreement in relationships and marriage. The benefits of unity and agreement are immense as follows:

(i)                  Decisions shall have a united strong backing (Matthew 18:19)

(ii)                Safety in counsel in the home due to unity

(iii)              Strong sense of belonging. Hence, the couple shall be highly productive.

(iv)              It shall be easier to achieve family goals (through unity/ agreement)

But first, the man and the woman must cleave together and become one. There is a process of becoming one. It involves shift or adjustments in connections, emotions, social aspects, commitments, goals, roles and responsibilities. This is bonding as one and facing children, friends, family members, challenges and the world out there as one and not two entities. When you face them as two (differences or differing) then you shall fail the marriage goal, mission and purpose.

Cleaving and becoming one flesh means the following:

(i)                  Having one or common mind e.g. decision making process

The couple should only make decision if they come to a common understanding or if they have the same mind over the matter. One body has one mind and it functions well with one mind.

(ii)                Sharing

They start sharing everything to make life easier

(iii)              Carrying each other’s burdens and responsibilities (carryover roles)

(iv)              Transparency

Since they are one flesh, they cannot hide anything from each other. They each have to be transparent to each other.

(v)                Stepping into each other’s shoes (for improved perceptions)

Since they are one whenever there are differences in opinions or perceptions they each have to step into each other’s shoes to enhance understanding of each other’s view.

(vi)              Being a team

They become united as one team deciding and dong everything together. They do not compete with each other.

(vii)            Supporting each other

Since they are one, they start supporting each other to do their roles, carry life burdens and to build each other. They do not harm or destroy each other but support each other.

(viii)          Oneness with the head of the home

They become one in the management of their home.

The cleaving is not cleaving to even bad acts of the other spouse but to the person to be at one in purpose, operation and as a team (Reference: Romans 12:9 – Bible)

Man cannot do anything in the team without approval of the woman and vice versa. It is oneness in doing things, planning, spending and decision making. The marriage union brings key aspects together and can simply be said as the union of the bodies, and hence marriage union brings finances, resources, assets, planning, decision making, budgeting and expenditure together. It is togetherness in everything. The separate persons operate as one person owning everything. The marriage union brings them together into one entity or team with better and more advantages.

(More in the book about becoming one flesh in marriage…….!!!) – Very eye opening and rare information.

 

From Book “A Practical Guide to Successful Relationships & Marriage, By Maimbolwa Muliwana

(This book shall be published in January 2021)