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UNDERSTANDING MAN AND WOMAN IN MARRIAGE – allegory

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  To help and enhance understanding of each other, it is important that the allegory of man having a king and a baby personality inside him and a woman having a queen and a baby personality inside her should be considered and understood. These personalities manifest from time to time and one has to know which personality is manifesting in order to know how to relate with them well. (a)     KING AND BABY PERSONALITY – MAN Using this allegory shall help partners about how to relate to each other according to the personality that is dominating or manifesting at a time. When the king personality is manifesting one has to look at what a king needs in order to relate well with the man. Similarly when a baby personality is manifesting in a man one does not need to mockingly tell the man, “Why do you speak or behave like a baby?” KING (needs): Respect, praises, recognition, attention, dependence, diplomacy A king needs respect, praises when they are due, recognition,...

ONE (They shall be one flesh)

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  A true marriage bonds a couple and hence they will have a connection emotionally, socially and economically and in the flesh including spiritually. Without an emotional and social connection the couple shall make love in bed out of obligation instead of out of love and emotional influence. If a couple does not connect emotionally to each other they might be cramp (restrict, limit or constrict) each other in bed and in the home. There is power in unity and agreement in relationships and marriage. The benefits of unity and agreement are immense as follows: (i)                   Decisions shall have a united strong backing (Matthew 18:19) (ii)                 Safety in counsel in the home due to unity (iii)               Strong sense of belonging. Hence,...

LOOKING GOOD FOR EACH OTHER

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  In a marriage union, two spouses should know each other more and should also please each other. They should know the likes, what attracts their partner and tag along with that. They should aim to attract each other and not their opposite sex outside the marriage union. They should bring joy and happiness to each other. They should arouse each other and not other people. Some despite being married they continue deliberately attracting or enticing or tempting others outside the marriage union. They still display themselves as though they are available. They still desire to attract and entice others to themselves. Justice enticing the opposite sex outside their marriage union gives them pleasure. This is an issue that spouses need to discuss honestly and deeply. They need to talk about how to look good for each other, how to attract and arouse each other, how to dress for each other when together and how to entertain each other. Some partners will dress in ways that put off thei...

SUPPORT OR A BURDEN – RELATIONSHIPS & MARRIAGE

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In a relationship or marriage a spouse can be a support or a burden to their spouse. Both spouses can also be supportive to each other or a burden to each other. When supportive to each other life becomes easy and goals become so easy to achieve. The saying that two are better than one becomes true or gets fulfilled. The productivity of both also increases. But when one or both are burdens to each other they become less productive than they were when they were single. Then the saying that “two are better than one” becomes “one is better than two” because something is wrong due to the additional burden instead of additional support. 1.        SUPPORT A support is mostly under or on same level to effectively offer the required support. If the support wants to uplift the other it can be under or above but in either way it uplifts the other. No matter its position, its position (below or above or by the side) is to uplift or support. Moses in the Bible lift...

THE MISUNDERSTOOD ROLE OF WOMEN IN MARRIAGES – HELPER ROLE

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  “And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:15-18)   A.       PURPOSE OF MAN IN THE GARDEN “And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the Garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it” (Genesis 2:15)   “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created ...

FAMILY REGULATION

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  Family regulation is another important aspect which provides a framework of operation, discipline, decision-making and general guidance. Children that are trained, educated, disciplined and motivated to follow family rules are more likely to adhere to rules outside their families, learning institutions, and later in life, at their work places and in communities. They will adhere to the rule of law in their countries because they were brought up that way and they will value this. Family regulation should not be harsh and unfair, but it should be fair, and family members should understand its importance and benefits to them. Family regulation should be done with love and kindness. Love should be the cornerstone of the family government system, leadership, management and parenting.   Good family rules and regulation are supposed to be empowering and for the benefit and good of family members, e.g., safety, security, good health, learning, wellbeing, growth, togetherness, care a...

FAMILY ENVIRONMENT – IS IT LIKE A PARADISE OR HELL?

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  An ideal home environment should be like a SAFE HAVEN, Garden of Eden and a small Paradise on EARTH. Yet many home environments are so hostile and causing many health ailments (e.g. heart diseases, depression) and sending many to an early grave. Many lives are being prematurely lost due to abusive home environments which are like prisons and torture chambers. A good home environment is supposed to be life nurturing, life saving and conducive for growth and learning. It is one of the roles of a family to provide a stable, safe and positive environment for parents and their children or dependents. This is intended to make a home environment sweet and refreshing. If it is negative, then it is very energy-sapping and may cause health challenges. A negative home environment is less productive and kills the unity of a family. Everyone should feel safe and loved and hence this promotes a sense of belonging. When each and every family member feels a sense of belonging to the family, th...